Before that April day, Sunday afternoons consisted of my dad dozing off on the couch while watching the final round of a golf tournament, my mom concocting something for dinner and my brother finding every excuse not to do anything for the school week ahead. In this idyllic scene, I, being a typical eight-year-old, would stake out a corner of the living room to build a large pillow fort or work on honing my Pokemon skills like every other kid in America at the time (you know who you are).
Then my view of the world flipped upside down... or at least it would have if I had been able to realize the ramifications of that short sentence, delivered like a traffic report on the morning news.
"Your mother and I are getting a divorce," he said to the three (my sister had come back from college for the weekend) of us sitting on the bed in the master bedroom.
I looked around at my sister--she must have already known because I didn't see a hint of surprise, just tears rolling down her face. My brother's face looked vacant and forlorn, like someone told him that the sun wouldn't rise in the east ever again. And there I was, completely lost as to what was happening around me. After all, it's not like kids talked about divorce while playing tag at recess.
"I want you all to understand that this was in no way influenced by any of you. We simply fell out of love with each other." My dad said as he slipped into work mode, talking deliberately to ensure he conveyed his point with clarity.
Up until that point, the only big change in my life had been my sister going off to college. Although I did switch little league baseball teams in second grade--that seemed pretty major. Fortunately, nobody in my life had passed away, not even a family pet. Heck, I hadn't even broken any bones. Nothing "bad" ever happened to my family, or at least not that I was aware of.
Now everything was changing simultaneously.
I figure my sister probably had it the best, being several years into college by this time. While she obviously still would be effected by the divorce itself, she hadn't spent every day of the 3 years prior around the house. Instead, she was geographically detached from the situation, providing a slight buffer. Similarly, as my brother neared graduation, he already faced a major change in the coming months--going off to college.
Yet I had a solid eight years before I left the nest. I would be effected the most, especially since my mom decided to follow somewhat of a pipe dream to live in England. There would be no alternating weekends with each parent, not with thousands of miles of open ocean separating Dallas, where my dad chose to stay, and England. Which meant that no matter who I ended up staying with, I would always be on a different continent than one of my parents. As you can imagine, this left me in quite a quandary. Should I go with my mom on an adventure to England? Or should I stay with my dad and the surroundings I knew well? I had no idea how to even choose. I must have been in some state of shock because I couldn't comprehend why the choice even existed in the first place.
That's when my dad pulled me aside: "I want you to go with your mother." Tears began to well up in the corner of his eye. "I want you to be there for her."
As if I wasn't confused enough, now I momentarily thought that he didn't want me to stay with him. Did he not love me? How could he just let me go with her and not see me every day?
He must have known what I was thinking because he quickly headed those thoughts off. "And don't think I don't want you to stay here."
Looking back, he must have thought that my mom shouldn't be away from all three of her children. My brother and sister were both going to be in college just 40 miles from our house. If I stayed with him, we would all be together while my mom was living an ocean away. I guess he wanted me to keep her company, and in doing so was putting some responsibility on my shoulders.
Throughout that day, I felt like I was thrown into the deep end of the adult world, but I think that might be the best way to grow up.
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