Respect

After a little confusion on the date and time of our second meeting, Haya and I eventually met up again last Tuesday. We had been slated to meet the Tuesday before, but she said that she mixed up the days of the week. We spent about the first ten minutes of our meeting talking about how she had thought it was Monday when in fact it had been Tuesday so instead of meeting with me she had been napping. I can't say I wouldn't have done the same if I thought my schedule was free.

When we did meet for the second time last Tuesday, she apologized profusely, saying that I must think all Saudis don't believe in punctuality because of her mistake. By itself, her worries wouldn't seem remarkable--I would do the same if the roles were reversed--but she earnestly believes that one should always be respectful. After my repeated assurances that her absence was quite alright, that it had given me a chance to relax and read the newspaper, she began to tell me a story about respect. 

She didn't divulge many details, but at some point since arriving in America, two individuals questioned why she wore a hijab (from my understanding, a headdress worn by many Islamic women to maintain their modesty as they are instructed to do so in the Koran) when other Muslim women do not necessarily do the same. They were inquiring, rather forcibly as Haya tells it, why she felt she had to wear a hijab when it obviously wasn't a strict requirement of her religion. Haya then dove into a long explanation of how her choice to wear a hijab was between "her and god," no one else. Her parents do not force her to wear it, her friends do not force her to wear it, she chooses to. She even went on to say that during a recent trip to Houston, she ventured out several times without her headdress and did not feel bad about doing so, only that she felt more comfortable with it on. 

Haya surprised me with how annoyed she was at the questioning of her beliefs. The notion that others would question and attempt to develop fallacies within her beliefs completely went against what her parents had taught her as a child. Not necessarily that the beliefs of others should be accepted without thought, but that we should have respect for one another's thoughts and practices. Haya believed that the actions of those two individuals was demeaning to her and she even went on to say that their actions were despicable. In fact, because she wanted to make sure that I understood her completely, she even took the time to choose the right word in Arabic that would describe her feelings before translating it to "despicable."

However, through all of this she didn't even think of trying to correct their actions with information about her religion. She told me that because she is not in her own country, she should not attempt to change what anyone else believes. Instead, she understands that there will be differences largely because of the culture gap and strives to maintain respect towards all opinions. 

I'm still struggling with whether I believe her choice to move away from confrontation rather than informing them of the reasons for her choices was "correct," but either way her choice not to lash back at the individuals should be admired.